JOKE JERK

Sometimes when I go on the internet, I suffer from information overload.  In fact, it reminds me of going to the diner where there are over 500 things on the menu.  Sometimes, you just wish they’d shorten the menu.

The internet is a very crowded place. 

What if there were one site where you could comparison shop for just about everything on the web?  Whether it’s price comparisons for baseball cards or candles, it is all on this site.

Shop Wiki has been in the USA for a long time now, but it has recently expanded internationally to numerous countries including Spain and Australia.

When you are buying something online, it’s great to know that there is one spot at Shop Wiki where you can comparison shop and find the best value for you.

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,’ I clocked you
at 80 miles per hour, sir.’

The driver says, ‘Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating. ‘

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: ‘Now don’t be silly, dear –
you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.’

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and
growls,

  ’Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?’

The wife smiles demurely and says, ‘Well dear you should be thankful your
radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.’

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man growels at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

‘Woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?’

The officer frowns and says, ‘And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat
belt, sir.

That’s an automatic $75 fine.’

The driver says, ‘Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back
pocket.’

The wife says, ‘Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat
belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.’

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns
to his wife and barks,  

 ’WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??’

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, ‘Does your husband always talk
to you this way, Ma’am?’ 

‘Only when he’s been drinking.!!’

With Chelsea's wedding coming up July 31st...

Hillary wanted to play the perfect Mom

She asked Chelsea... "have you had sex with Marc?"

Chelsea said.... "Not according to Dad"

OK, I admit it.  I’m not too happy right now.  As I sit down to right this blog post, I notice that the big screen TV in my living room is not working properly.  It’s a problem with the remote control.  So, here it is this expensive big TV is not working, because of a problem with the small accessory to it.

It gets me to thinking.  Maybe it’s time that I upgraded my television.  There’s nothing like new electronics to make a man happy.  Especially when those electronics are big electronics.

There are lots of cool new enhancements to my 10 year old TV and now is the time to start thinking about upgrading my home theatre system.  But, I’m not really up on all this technology and these things are expensive so I want to make sure that I’m getting the best price.  That’s where Shop Wiki comes in, because it scans all of the sites on the internet before finding the best deal for you on your home theatre system.

There’s the new HDTV and the 4 Dimensional televisions, but all I want is a great plasma screen TV to replace the busted one that I have.  Then, I won’t get so darn frustrated.

A mailbox is the first impression that a person has of your house.  It’s the first thing that anybody sees when driving down the road.

We all know how important first impressions are, yet so many beautiful houses simply have ugly mailboxes outside of them.  Hence, the first thing that anybody sees is a dumpy old mailbox.

Whether you are looking for commercial mailboxes or residential mailboxes, finding the best one for you is as easy as jumping on the internet and searching for mail boxes.  Imagine, there are over 2500 mailboxes for sale on some sites.

Time to get rid of that rusty old mailbox by the curb.  Your mail man will be happy.  So will your neighbors.

The internet has really changed the way that we live and that we shop.  Just ten years ago, could you imagine shopping for a car on the web?  Probably not.

Today, however, if you are looking for a Land Rover Range Rover, then you just might turn to a web site like the Car Connection.  It gives you lots of information about various brands of cars and can even direct you to a local dealer to help you.

The more popular the car is, the more activity it likely gets on the web and in web searches.  Take the Toyota Corolla for example.  I am told that it gets a lot of looks on auto information sites simply because it’s such a reliable automobile.

Then, there’s autos like the Mercedes Benz SL Class.  What a great car a Mercedes is.  They will last forever and it’s the one car that turns heads more than any other.  It’s simply a fine car with no match.

The best thing about the auto web sites is that they cover all kinds of cars.  So, whether you are looking for a Honda Odyssey or a new truck, they will have the information and the referrals for you.

A man in an old folks home received a bottle of wine from an old friend.  Excited, he asked the woman in the room next to his to share it with him.  After they finished the bottle, the man started fondling the senior lady.  He got her blouse off and was taking off her bra when she stopped him.

“I can’t do this,” she said.  “I have acute angina.”

“God I hope so,” said the horny old man, “becuase you have the ugliest tits I’ve ever seen.”

It’s a rough economy and making investments is not as easy as it once was.  Do I buy stocks or bonds or real estate?  Or, do I invest in my own business?  So many choices.

Perhaps a good choice is to invest in bullion.  It’s not in the papers every day, but it’s one of the safest investments that any investor can make.  Plus, if you actually get the investment, you can look at it, although it may be really heavy to carry around.  That is, if it’s gold bullion that you are investing in.

But, where does one buy bullion?  Because, I’m pretty sure that you can’t get it at the Wal-Mart.  You need advice on how to purchase bullion and where to keep it; if you even get the coins.  It is important that you get the right advice or you’ll end up investing in something that you simply don’t understand and that’s never good.

Therefore, if you are serious and want to buy gold bullion then you should do a lot of research on the internet prior to making that investment.  If not, and you get with a company that is dishonest or doesn’t know what it’s doing, you could end up very disappointed and poorer.

The great thing about investing in gold is that it’s so versatile.  There are so many ways that you can invest in it and there are so many investments where you can stockpile it.  In fact, you can even have a gold IRA if that’s where you’d like to invest it.

Investing is tough in these economic times and it’s great to diversify your portfolio with an investment in gold or gold bullion.  That will balance your portfolio and secure your investments against inflation, because gold is always a good investment.

We all like to go to events and be entertained.  Whether that event is a sporting event, a theatrical play, or a concert, it’s something that we talk about for many years after.

I have been fortunate to have attended events all around the country.  One event I remember is getting US Airways Center tickets for a Phoenix Suns game.  I’ve always been a fan of Steve Nash and think he’s one of the greatest basketball players of all time so seeing him in action was a thrill.

I’ve never got Comfort Dental Amphitheatre TICKETS but now that I see that Green Day is going to be there, I just might work out a business trip and be there for the concert.  Green Day is a great show and they have so many great hit songs.

But, when it comes down to it, my favorite events are Major League Baseball games.  I definitely plan to get some COORS FIELD TICKETS this Fall to see the Rockies play.  They are really having a great season in Colorado and it would be great to see a game there as I hear it’s a great stadium.

There’s nothing worse than traveling and realizing that you need an auto repair.  I was recently traveling and realized that I needed a Houston auto repair job on my car.

The car I have is an Acura Integra so it’s a pretty specialized car when it comes to repairs.  You need to know what you are doing with it or you just may screw things up worse than before the repair job started.

This was a transmission tune up that was required.  It was jumping when I touched the accellerator and it was very annoying.  It’s not like it was a simple oil change or similar.  This required serious knowledge of my car brand.

The web site at Repair Pal really helped me out as I wasn’t familiar with the auto repair shops in the state of Texas.