Random Jokes

Watch this hair raising commercial. One of the most clever ads I’ve ever seen.

Dirt Devil-The Exorcist from MrPrice2U on Vimeo.

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend:  “That’s us in 10 years”.

He said “That’s a mirror, dip-shit!

 
Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said, “I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best.”
“I don’t think I have ever heard of that one,” said the other cowboy, “what is it?”
“Well, it’s where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from […]

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as […]

A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class
asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.  
One little boy stood up and yelled:
 
“FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!!”
 
Not a lot of farms in Detroit.

Dump the male flight  attendants.
No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female  flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What […]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.
Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today.”
Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I […]

T’was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and […]

It’s all people want today, more Tiger Woods jokes so here’s some more jokes about that wacky golfer.
What’s the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball?
Tiger can’t drive an Escalade 300 yards.
 
Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
 
What were Tiger Woods and […]