Random Jokes

A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class
asked the kids what kind of sound a pig makes.  
One little boy stood up and yelled:
 
“FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!!”
 
Not a lot of farms in Detroit.

Dump the male flight  attendants.
No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female  flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What […]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.
Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today.”
Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I […]

T’was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and […]

It’s all people want today, more Tiger Woods jokes so here’s some more jokes about that wacky golfer.
What’s the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball?
Tiger can’t drive an Escalade 300 yards.
 
Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
 
What were Tiger Woods and […]

Tigers Attorneys issued the following statement: “Mr. Woods would like to take a mulligan.”
Tiger is no different from most of the guys I know. His car is a wreck, he is off work,  his wife hates him, and he has sudden, unexpected, family expenses to deal with.
Don’t you think it’s suspicious that all of the sudden Phil […]

If you don’t have a sense of humor, don’t read these.
michael’s latest autopsy report? he died from choking on an 8 year old weiner
I hear this is the stiffest michael jackson has been since macauley culken stayed over
 Michael Jackson wakes up to see his doctor. He ask ” Dr Dr am I in heaven.” To […]

The economy is so bad today that when my secretary tells me that my broker is on the phone, I have to ask:
 ”stock or pawn?”

If you are a techie, you’ll love these techie abbreviations.
PCMCIA - People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry
SCSI - System Can’t See It
DOS - Defunct Operating System
BASIC - Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too
ISDN - I Simply Don’t Know