An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as […]
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims,”So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger” …”In honour of the Harvest Festival,YOU will be executed in three days.””Before I kill you, I grant you three requests””What is your FIRST request???’The Lone Ranger responds,”I’d like to speak to my […]
What is the difference between girls / women aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?
At 8: You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18: You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28: You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38: […]
The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first
time we had sex together over sixty years ago? We went behind the
village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love
to you.’Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’
OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and […]
A man in an old folks home received a bottle of wine from an old friend. Excited, he asked the woman in the room next to his to share it with him. After they finished the bottle, the man started fondling the senior lady. He got her blouse off and was taking off her bra […]
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says,
“Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on; […]
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit,
so he asks the biker his name.
‘Fred,’ he replies.
‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.
‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a […]
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ‘Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?’
The parrot says, ‘I was born this way.. I’m a defective parrot.’
‘Holy crap,’ the guy […]
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me
life, between the legs of me wife!’
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best toast of
the night.’
She said, ‘Aye, did […]
A man goes to San Francisco on business. When he arrives, he decides to stop into a local bar for a beer. Once there, he begins chatting up an attractive woman who he soon realizes is a working girl.
He asks the working girl how much it would be for a hand job?
“$500,” she says.
“$500!” says […]