A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit,
so he asks the biker his name.
‘Fred,’ he replies.
‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.
‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a […]
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ‘Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?’
The parrot says, ‘I was born this way.. I’m a defective parrot.’
‘Holy crap,’ the guy […]
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me
life, between the legs of me wife!’
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, ‘I won the prize for the Best toast of
the night.’
She said, ‘Aye, did […]
A man goes to San Francisco on business. When he arrives, he decides to stop into a local bar for a beer. Once there, he begins chatting up an attractive woman who he soon realizes is a working girl.
He asks the working girl how much it would be for a hand job?
“$500,” she says.
“$500!” says […]
A little old Jewish man is walking down the street one afternoon, when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.
He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?”
“Are you nuts?!” she replies, and keeps walking away.
He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she […]
1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw
a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said “morning.”
He said “no just taking a shit”.
2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole
a bike and […]
A husband comes home and tells his wife he’s going to get a tatoo of a $100 bill on his penis.
His wife asks him why he would do such an idiotic thing.
“Well,” he says. “I like to play with my money. I like to see my money grow. And, if you feel the need to […]
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every […]
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ‘Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?’
The parrot says, ‘I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.’
‘Holy crap,’ the guy replies. ’You actually understood and answered me!’
‘I […]
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman’s vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital.When they got there the doctor said, “The only way I can think to get the wasp out […]